Teen Health: Tips for Parents With Teens

Living With Your Teen

Encourage your teen to take responsibility for their health.

The natural changes your teen goes through during adolescence can be difficult for both parents and teens. Your love and guidance during this time can help your teen make good decisions. Start by learning more about normal growth and development between the ages of 11 and 14 and 15 and 18. Then consider some of these points:

• Try to accept the natural changes in your relationship with your teen. It's normal for teens to want more independence.
• Recognize that your teen may be less willing to be involved in some family activities and may start to challenge your authority.
• Respect your teen's need for privacy. Be open with your teen if you have safety concerns.
• Be flexible. Allow your teen to test, explore, and communicate within limits, but stay firm and consistent.
• Establish realistic family rules, giving your teen more responsibility as he or she seems ready. Set clear limits and consequences if rules are broken.
• Help build your teen's confidence by paying attention. When he or she wants to talk, try to stop what you're doing and really listen.
• Along with your teen, decide which activities are okay to do on his or her own, such as staying home alone or going out with friends who drive.
• Spend personal, fun time with your teen. Try to keep a sense of humor and praise positive behaviors.
• If you're having trouble getting along with your teen, try talking with other parents, family members, or a counselor.

Emotional Health

Depression is a serious mood disorder that can take the joy from a child's life. It is normal for a child to be moody or sad from time to time. You can expect these feelings after the death of a pet or a move to a new city. But if these feelings last for weeks or months, they may be a sign of depression.

Experts used to think that only adults could get depression. Now we know that even a young child can have depression that needs treatment to improve. As many as 3 in 100 young children and 9 in 100 teens have serious depression. Still, many children don't get the treatment they need. This is partly because it can be hard to tell the difference between depression and normal moodiness. Also, depression may not look the same in a child as in an adult.

If you are worried about your child, learn more about the symptoms in children. Talk to your child to see how he or she is feeling. The sooner a child gets treatment, the sooner he or she will start to feel better.

Talking About Sexuality

As adolescents enter their late teen years, they begin to date more regularly, and many become sexually intimate with a partner. For many, sexual drive is at its strongest during adolescence. More than half of teenagers will have had sexual intercourse by the age of 17. By the age of 18, 65 percent of girls and 68 percent of boys have had sexual intercourse.

Whether they are sexually active or not, teenagers need help to make responsible choices about sex. Talking about sex does not encourage sexual activity in teens; in fact, some studies show that talking frankly and honestly about sex can prevent teenage pregnancy and delay intercourse. Having an open, honest relationship with your teen will largely depend on the quality of the relationship you have built to this point.

Ideally, you should begin to discuss sex with your child while he or she is in elementary school. A good way to start is to acknowledge that talking about sex may be awkward, but that your child should never be afraid to ask you questions. Discussing sex and sexuality with your children is not a one-time conversation, however. As they grow and mature, children naturally have questions about their sexuality. The more you can give them guidance, the better prepared they will be to make responsible decisions.

If you are unsure of how to begin such a conversation, use everyday situations as an icebreaker. Use examples on TV or another teen's pregnancy to start a discussion about sex and dating.

Your local library, church or synagogue, or organizations such as Planned Parenthood will have information to help you talk to your kids about sex and family life issues. Planned Parenthood and other groups offer counseling and classes you can take with your teenager to discuss sex, dating, and other important issues.

Tobacco, Alcohol, and Drug Abuse

Help build your teen's confidence by paying attention when he or she wants to talk.

Use of alcohol, cigarettes, inhalants, and other drugs among adolescents is a major concern for parents. Preteens and teens are starting to use harmful and illegal substances at younger ages. Teen drinking, smoking, and drug use can affect general health, physical growth, emotional development, and school performance.

Today, most teens try alcohol, cigarettes, inhalants, or other drugs one or more times. However, many of these teens never go any further than experimenting, and they usually do not have any problems as a result of their substance use.

For some teens, experimenting leads to regular or frequent use (abuse). Substance abuse results in problems at home (such as more arguments with parents), at school (such as failing grades), or with the law (such as driving under the influence or possessing illegal substances).

Teens can become physically and/or psychologically dependent on the substance. At this stage, use of the substance takes up a significant portion of the teen's activities, continues despite causing harm, and is difficult to stop. Addiction is an ongoing (chronic), progressive, and possibly fatal disease.

Talk with your physician if you think your child or teen is using alcohol, cigarettes, inhalants, or other drugs. Ask for your physician's help in dealing with your child or teen on this issue.

School

School is a major part of your teen's life, so it's important for you to stay involved.

• Tell your teen why you think education is important.
• Show interest in your teen's school life and pay attention to grades and attendance problems.
• If there are problems, work with the school staff and your teen to find out what's wrong and discuss ways to solve any issues.
• Encourage your teen to join one or more school activities, such as playing sports or acting in a theater group. It can help your teen feel connected.
• If your teen is having difficulty with schoolwork, arrange for tutoring or extra help.
• Start talking about your teen's future. Discuss how having a college education will open up opportunities.